Sunday, April 4, 2010

A Bit of Lameness: Pretend Girl Gamers

I don't know how many of you out there are girl gamers, but I do know that a significant amount of my readers, if not the body of them in entirety play games. That means, that you must have, in some time during the expanse of your gaming, have experienced "Pretend Girl Gamers". By this, I don't mean transvestites, or anything of the sort. I mean, those girls who, in order to get attention from Gamer guys, pretend that they play video games. I'm talking about the type of girl who will say CoD, and not know what it stands for, or, even better, will talk on Steam, or Vent merely because they want people to know that they're a female.

These people drive me up the wall. Not only do they drive me insane because I actually AM a female gamer, but also because they sully the names of girl gamers everywhere. Instantly, when we tell someone we play games, we enter into a tirade of questions because, without a doubt, every gamer has met a girl that says "Oh YA! I play games! LYK Animal Crossing, and THE SIMS!?!? OMG, I LUVVVV THE SIMS!" God. I hate the fucking Sims. And, it's because of those girls, that I get to go through the Spanish Inquisition every time I say I play games.
So, guys, be careful of the girl who claims she knows how to play CoD, or Assasin's Creed. Ask her, first, what other games she enjoys; I've noticed that these girls will always say that they enjoy the POPULAR games. The games that they will probably name are ones that they've heard their kid brother, or guy friends gushing over. A good question would be like, "Oh, well, which original platform do you appreciate the best?" If they say PS3, you know you have a problem.

If they count the DS as an actual valid form of gaming, that is another sign that they probably have no idea what they are talking about. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the DS, but if that's ALL THEY KNOW of the gaming world, it's a bad sign. Cooking Mama, and Trauma Center: Under the Knife are fun and all, but they aren't exactly sterling examples of what gaming should be like.

After all, in our modern society, Girls saying "Oh yeah, I game." is the equivalent of a cheerleader in the 90s saying "Oh yeah, I love Football."

UPDATE: It is now 2013—I know, there is a whole lot of hoopla about how there aren't pretend girl gamers and all girls are equal and blah blah blah. I'm sorry. I still disagree—though this is a cute song and I agree with its message, confusingly enough.

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