A Bit of IMPOSSIBLE: Solomon's Key

HOW MANY BITS MERCER? 0/8 bits.

This is pretty much the worst game ever. The only reason I'm covering it is for nostalgia's sake; the nostalgia of hurling, and breaking 1,453,568,345,460 controllers in frustration of this game.

Some of the things that you have to overcome: The main character's SUCKY amount of life, constantly changing puzzles, countdown timers, ENDLESS spawning of enemies, and limited weaponry. Basically, this is a complete equation for how to make a game impossible.

A Little Bit of Depression: Oregon Trail

HOW MANY BITS MERCER? 1/8

How many of you remember the days in middle school when you would wait for computer lab or library time to play The Oregon Trail? I do, that's for sure. This game (along with Reader Rabbit, etc) was the only thing to break up the banality that was catholic school. It seemed so simple then: eat, hunt, die. Only NOW do I realize that it was a sham, a ploy in order for me to learn about history whilst thinking I was playing a game.

A Little Bit of Funk: Toejam & Earl

HOW MANY BITS, MERCER?: 6.5/8

This game has had multiple reincarnations over the path of my gaming-career, but none of them were as good, or ever will be as good as the original. I think the thing that struck me the most about this game was how the aliens were consciously created to act like humans/teens from the time that the game was made (the early nineties).

A Little Bit of Alien Abduction: StarTropics

HOW MANY BITS, MERCER?: 6/8 Bits

This is probably one of the most random games I have ever played. In fact, looking back on all of the games that I used to play as a child, it is no wonder that we all turned out as bizarrely as we did. I mean, come on, look at the rest of the games that I've talked about on here so far, and tell me that they are not INFINITELY stranger than any games that are circulating now-a-days.

A Bit of Domination: RAMPAGE

HOW MANY BITS, MERCER? 5/8 Bits

This game has been on almost every console ever. It started out as an Arcade Game back in '86, and has been consistently kicking ass

ever since. The first time I ever experienced it was for Atari, but for those of you who aren't as hardcore as I am, maybe you played it on N64, Gameboy (Color, and otherwise), Playstation, or Playstation 2.

A Bit of Point & Click: Loom

HOW MANY BITS, MERCER? 7/8 Bits

Alright, so, I know that I already covered ONE lucasfilms' game, but really, how can I resist? This is another fantastic and memorable one filled with fancy and whimsy.

The game ORIGINALLY began with a 30 minute audiotape that came along with the packaging. One was supposed to listen to the tape before playing to be briefed on the history of this guild that the main character is in. Unfortunately, I haven't played that version for a two reasons:

A Bit of Despair: The Apple Brand

Warning: This is not about an oldschool video-game. It is more about the utter despair, and frustration I have in cultivating the ability to play the above-mentioned on my lovely, sleek MacBook Pro.

Now, I have no qualms with either of the two elements of this equation, as long as they are kept separated. My mac is wonderful for my designing, and musical desires; it's beautiful looking, and the white laptop has always been a symbol of "hipness" for me (So sue me, I'm a bit brand-focussed). And videogame emulators have never caused me much of a problem except for the occasional virus on my old and beaten down Dell.

A Bit of Blood: Splatterhouse 3

HOW MANY BITS, MERCER? 6/8 Bits

Just an FYI, my friends, the rejuvenation of this goblet of video-game-holiness will soon be upon us. Thus is foretold by Ye Olde Gaming Magazines. And it looks effing awesome.

I enjoyed both Splatterhouse, and Splatterhouse 2; but neither of them spoke to me quite as...aggressively...as Splatterhouse 3.

A Little Bit of Review: Monkey Island

HOW MANY BITS, MERCER? 7/8 Bits.

This, my friends, is my FAVORITE game of all time. I remember fondly sitting in front of my CRT monitor, my tiny childish fingers nimbly grazing the fraying mousepad, while dancing to the title screen music of The Secret of Monkey Island. I mean, come on now, how many of you are with me? This was one of Lucasfilms' FIRST triumphs (later to come: Grim Fandango), and now the only place I can find it is through cheap emulators. Therefore, I haven't played it in quite sometime. Floppy drives are hard to come by these days, and that's the only copy I have left. OLD SCHOOL!